Monday, March 20, 2017

Review: The Chocolate War


     Boys are the wrongest, grossest, most evil creatures on God's green Earth, and I think, based on reading Lord of the Flies and now Richard Cormier's Lord of the Flies-esque but much milder, and a lot more boring, The Chocolare War, I feel as if private all-boys schools are probably the wrongest, grossest most evil PLACES on Earth. 
     The premise is simple: Jerry Renault is a student at a private Catholic all-boys school that is run, not by the priests, but by a gang of jerks known as The Vigils, who are infamous for making students pull goofy pranks. Every year, the students are expected to take part in a chocolate sale to raise funds for the school. THIS year, one of the priests, Bother Leon, who has dreams of being the new head of the school.
    Brother Leon wants the boys to make him look good by selling twice as many chocolates as last year, and thinks the Vigils will help him. But, unbeknownst to Leon, the head Vigil tells Jerry to refuse to sell the chocolates for the first half of the sale.
    At first, Jerry is terrified that Leon will punish him, but as time goes by, and he nears the point at which he is finally supposed to go ahead and agree to sell chocolates, Jerry decides he's not going to do it. At. All.
    Boys being horrible, all hell breaks loose.
    And it breaks loose in a nasty, violent, disgusting way it could only break loose when boys are involved.
     Where the book fails is that it is not as brutal or impactful as LOTF. No one gets REALLY seriously hurt, and no one suffers any REAL serious consequences. It's basically just a character study of the most distasteful male stereotypes you can imagine.

Final Review: 2/5 bookmarks.

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