Monday, May 22, 2017

Book Review: The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things

   Oh joy! Another book about a fat girl who is not at all fat learning to love herself because a boy likes her. Yaaaaaaaaay..... Ok, now let me put my eyeballs back in their sockets, as they fell out from the massive amounts of eye rolling I did while reading this book.
    Virginia Shreeves is not fat. She is just slightly larger than the rest of her family members, which she is CONSTANTLY being reminded of by her disgusting misogynist father (whose favorite things to say include things like "skinny women are more attractive." Joy!) and a mother who may or may not have an eating disorder (though the book strongly hints that if she doesn't have one now, she most likely had one in her teen years).
   This book is, for some reason a Printz honor book. I have no idea why, as it hits on every single "fat girl book" cliche in existence. 1) Fat girl is not fat!!!!!! 2) Popular and pretty girls at school are secretly miserable and have eating disorders 3) Fat girl only has one friend in the whole world and this friend has moved, oh woe is fat girl! 4) Fat girl decides the only way a guy will ever like her is if she in a huge slut, because hey, why else would ANYONE EVER be interested in a fat girl. 5) Nice, cute boy actually LIKES fat girl, but of COURSE she doesn't believe it at all until she loses a bunch of weight (with almost no actual effort at all) and gains all kinds of self esteem because all it takes to have self-esteem is to be skinny!
   Throw in a date rape and a neo-feminist sister and you have a delicious cliche pie. A delicious AWARD WINNING cliche pie.
   *Commences stomping up and down and tearing out her hair*
   Listen to me fellow fat girls of the world (size 16 here, and also, smoking hot, if I do say so myself): THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. Your life will NOT become instantly better if you drop weight - if you are messed up in the head, losing weight is just going to change your BODY not your PERSONALITY. Also, it will take you longer than a minute and a half to actually drop weight. And ALSO there are MANY MANY MANY wonderful, handsome, decent and respectful guys who would LOVE to date you regardless of how many fat flaps you have! Trust me. I outweigh my boyfriend by a good 80 pounds on an average day and we're just fine!
   Books like this that try to "help" by perpetuating disgusting stereotypes DO NOT HELP. Awarding these books DOES NOT HELP.
   I'm done ranting now. I'm gonna go eat an ice cream now.

Final Review: 2/5 bookmarks (only because I like the best friend character and her weird, onion loving parents).

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